Many times after a breakup, your ex may still give off signals that they want to get back together. They might call you frequently, or even be flirtatious. This can often drag on for a long time, all while you’re hoping and praying for the day when you will actually be a couple again.
Talk about a frustrating position to be in.
Be careful that you’re ex is not merely leading you on. We’ve put together some “warning signs” to help you be recognize if this is happening to you, and wanted to share them below. Watch out, as these might be signs your ex is only leading you on.
(1) Your ex gets involved with someone else, but they still call you. They may ask favors of you, or they may just want to “chat”. You allow this to happen because you still have deep feelings for them. You don’t want to let go of the relationship, but this is unfair to you. As hard as it will be, you must set some boundaries. This may even mean cutting off communication, at least temporarily. This does not mean to ignore them, but rather just be honest and express how difficult it is for you to continue on in this way.
(2) Your ex still expresses their love for you. They may even pursue physical intimacy with you. But when you ask for a commitment, they shut down. This is unhealthy, not to mention frustrating and confusing. It is possible your ex is enjoying the fact that they can “have you” without the responsibilities of a full relationship. Don’t allow this to continue. This is only hurting your chances of ever getting back together.
(3) Another warning sign is when you bend over backwards to help your ex, but they fail to return the favor. If all you do is give, and all they do is take, then there’s a strong chance they are leading you on.
There are certainly other examples, but we hope you get the idea. If your ex is only leading you on, then even though it may make you feel good temporarily, like there’s hope of getting back together, it is only doing more harm. In fact, if you allow your ex to lead you on, especially if you’re still being intimate with your partner, it only lessens the chances of you two ever getting back together.
Now, there are times when your ex is genuinely confused. They actually meant it when they said they “needed their space to figure things out”. A part of them still wants to be with you, but another part is not sure.
If you feel your ex is not misleading you, but genuinely confused about their feelings, they will not want to hurt you in any way. So, if your ex is sending these mixed signals, then it is best to get your feelings out in the open and deal with the situation in honesty.
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